doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
