Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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