i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Two words: nipple clamps
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