Slut skills are useful in every country.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize