I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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