im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
