Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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