My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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