I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
