Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
