okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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