I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
