you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
