Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
