I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
