I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
