I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
