Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i already hear my dad disowning me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
