I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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