So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
