That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize