Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
