I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
