Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
