Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?