see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
