she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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