Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize