I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
