Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
