Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
