i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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