the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
