I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
