Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My penis needs a shock collar
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sobbing to NWA
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
