so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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