I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
