Your mouth is God's brothel.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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