After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
