omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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