you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
