you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
