Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My cat gives me a boner
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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