i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He passed out mid-signature
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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