no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
