I love black thongs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Farmville is her only friend.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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