why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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