it was like eating out sand paper
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
