We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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