I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
