He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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