Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize