God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
