I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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