After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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