Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
