i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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