We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
