I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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