in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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