He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
