Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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