Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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