Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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