the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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