I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
